Like, I mean c'mon. I'm a sexy beast.
Anywho, I came home and no one else was home. So I put my hair up and started to wash my makeup off. I was scrubbing my face down with my rough towel and then I had that tight feeling in my bladder. It was like "ooh great I have to pee" so I did what any other sane person does when they have to use the restroom. I undid my pants.
I had finished. But let's face it. I'm a lazy woman. Just straight up I put everything off. Procrastination to the point where I didn't hook my belt and rebutton my pants. What's the point? I'm at home.
...then a horrifying knock on the door.
I thought, "okay, just look through the peep hole" I figured that it was just a room mate that had forgotten to bring their key with.
So.. I look. And there's a dozen people, half girls, half boys. Boys.
They had their backs turned, and I couldn't tell who anyone was. "Haha," I thought. "I had just misheard the knock on our door for someone else's apartment. They're facing 2211" and I started to walk away.
Then a phrase that made the angels in heaven cry for me: "we see your shadow through the crack in the door, open up!"
So I thought... "Well, maybe it's Jessica and a bunch of her friends, there was a girl with straight brown hair.." and I open the door.
Ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom, Christmas carols are being sung to me. My face makeup-less, red and splotchy from my rough towel. Hair up. Pants undone.
I
God bless us, everyone. Merry Christmas.
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