The Small Elephant in The Room

My Spanish conversation lab usually consists of no more than five people for an hour. It’s always a bit awkward as 30% of the time we don’t catch what our teacher is saying or asking us, and we all speak haltingly, nervously, and quietly. When a new person comes to the lab, it’s very apparent and slightly exciting. 

So today I waltz into the classroom, and do a double take.

There was a new boy.

With glasses, and tousled blonde hair. 

In my SPANISH conversation lab. 

You got to understand. As an English major, I’ve discovered this rather unfortunate, but not unexpected, phenomenon in my classes: NO MALES. And if there are males, they are married, or a little too hipster, or old.

A little too Hipster

Because of this, whenever an attractive man happens to be in one of my classes, Aragon’s speech in LOTR Return of the King echoes back to me: “Hold your ground…a day may come when there are no boys at all in your class or when they are all married but it is not this day! Today we fight!”

I boldly took a seat near him, and got partnered up with him for all the speaking activities. Things were going successfully until we flowed into a normal conversation about high school. Cleverly, I asked “Cuando saliste de escuela secondario?” (when did you graduate) as a casual attempt to gage his age. 

“2008, y tu?” 

Sheepishly, feeling very much like a little freshman, I replied “el ano pasado” which surprised him.

“2012?” He asked, I nodded, and then he continued, “So tienes diecinueve anos?” (You are 19?)

Regretfully, I corrected him, “Dieciocho,” then speaking faster, “pero mi cumplianos es en Mayo!” (18, but my birthday is in may!) He nodded, then proceeded to simultaneously smile and kill the excitement and hope fluttering around in my chest, “That’s quite a grande age gap between us,”  

After that, things just got worse. 

At one point, we were supposed to create a story, or tell each other stories using these strange phrases of sentences on the board. I had no idea what was going on, as my teacher talked very quickly, but needed to talk, and so I desperately picked a line and went with it. 

“Hay un hombre extrano a mi puerta……y el dame un elefante pequena,” (There was a strange man at my door, and he gave me a small elephant). 

The guy frowned in puzzlement, and asked “un elefante?” and in reply, I muttered “Si, pequena”. 

Then we sat there, silent. 

What was supposed to be a conversation opener, successfully transformed into a conversation ender, all in the form of a small elephant.

                                                         Moral(s) of the Story  

         

Sleep deprivation + a foreign language x the presence of an attractive male= Word Vomit.

Being Age Zoned sucks the fun out of everything. 

-ANNALEE