What Would Sadie Do?/ JE-AH!

There comes a point in every human being's life when the filter between the brain and the mouth shuts off.  For me, this generally happens every night around 10 p.m.  With the addition of finals this week, not only has the filter stopped working at earlier times, but the thoughts that need to be filtered are becoming odder and odder.  Last night, we had our boys over for one last hoorah to watch "What Would Ryan Lochte Do" (which was terribly disappointing by the way, I do not recommend it). The boys decided that whenever anyone tells a lame story, instead of saying the typical "...and you found five dollars" at the end, it's best to say "...and then you made out" at the end.  Somehow this developed into Jacob shouting the latter not just at the end, but in the middle of any story, phrase, or awkward silence.
Cassidy, Evan, and I have "Support Group" every Tuesday night where we talk about how Cassidy and Evan are picked on by their roommates and I pick on my roommates.  Usually this turns into hysterical laughing about who-knows-what for a couple of hours.  We have one last Tuesday where all three of us will be here, and so we are obligated to attend one last Support Group session.  I tell Evan this at about 11 p.m. last night, and he replies that he has finals and can't do it at the typical time.  I have Temple Prep lessons at that same time as well, so I reply, "Oh that's fine, cause I can't do it then either.  I can do it late at night though..." Jacob then interjects with a "...and then you made out".  Filter off + broken brain = me proceeding to say, "I don't know... Evan???" Everyone bursted out laughing.  Evan's face froze in an awkward-Shia-Lebouf kind of way.

Apparently though, Evan quite didn't understand what was going on, because his roommates had to explain to him the context of what had just blurted out of my mouth.  His face turned bright red, and shifted from awkward-Shia-Lebouf to a I-can't-believe-that-just-happened-Ryan-Gosling.

After about five seconds, my brain finally clicked back in, and I realized that I had just offered Evan, my good friend, Elders Quorum President, and the man with good genes (roommates, please laugh at this inside joke) a NCMO.  I started yelling phrases like, "That was a joke!"  "I really didn't mean it!" "That came out of my mouth really wrong".  Luckily everyone was under the impression that it was a joke, and things went back to normal.  

What makes this story even better is that on one of my dates with Evan, we took a group picture.  Due to some weird optical illusion things, it looks like Evan's hand is kinda low on my waist.  In addition to that, Annalee discovered that if you crop the picture just right, it looks like an we're-engaged-! photo of Evan and I (it really doesn't help that were wearing coordinating colors). 

 I've been receiving crap about Evan and I as a couple ever since then.  Since my roommates knew of this, and a few other factors, they were close to rolling on the ground laughing when I accidentally suggested a make-out session with him.  Cassidy was laughing so hard she was clinging to my shoulder; I thought she was going to knock me down.  

I guess the moral of the story (as Annalee would say), NEVER TALK TO ANYBODY DURING FINALS WEEK.

--Sadie

So I am in love with Captain Jean Luc Picard from Star Trek the Next Generation. Yes, he is bald, yes his head is shaped like an egg. But his character is manly, brave AND poetic. And yes, I also will admit that I am attracted to the 1990 version of the actor. Try to explain this to my roommates...and they think I am attracted to old men. Uh....hahahaha no. I am not attracted to old men, thank you very much, just to one slightly aged older man.
So, keeping this in mind, I got an email today....from Patrick Stewart!!! No, just kidding. You know how you sometimes get those emails from match.com promising to find you a sweetheart? Well I used to get those. Now I get emails from SeniorPeopleMeet.com....SENIORPEOPLEMEET.com!!! And the subject was  <3 See 50+ Singles in your area <3. With the exception of Patrick Stewart and Johnny Depp, I am not attracted to old people!!! End of story...not mine, just theirs, cause they are old, just kidding, that's horrible. The End.

-Cass

Pants on the Ground, Pants on the Ground

Two weeks ago, Julie (sort of) met a boy, started dating him two days later, and now he practically lives in our apartment.  Basically it's a good thing that we like Alex.
Today, I came home from a stressful day of work, and after kicking off my red high heels by the door, I grabbed my stretchy pants.   Living in a house full of girls, you get used to doing certain girly things, such as changing into your stretchy pants with the door open.  Since I am still not accustomed to having a boy in the apartment frequently, and since Julie and Alex were out of the house, I dropped my pants with the door wide open.  With my stretchy pants half-way up my thighs, I decided that maybe I should shut my door.  I shuffled over to my doorway and attempted to push the door shut, but having kicked off my kicks in that area, the door got jammed by them and wouldn't even close half way.  So I gave up, and started to pull the rest of my pants up. When my pants were pulled 5/6 of the way up in the front and 3/4 of the way in the back (my booty was not exactly what you would call "covered" by pants), I glanced up, only to see Alex walking past my doorway:"Oh, hey Sa---AH!" *Cue Alex's quick glance away and awkward smirk on his face*  *Cue Sadie's blank stare and blushing* My mind went blank for about 3.2 seconds.  Julie's boyfriend had just seen me in the process of pulling up my pants right in my open doorway.  I realized then I was so far into the doorway that I was practically changing in the hallway.  I quickly finished pulling up my pants as he ran into the kitchen. Grabbing my shoes, I heard Alex's voice from the kitchen: "That could have been really awkward Sadie..." In my mind I was thinking "That was really awkward, Alex...."  I slammed the door shut and made sure my pants were all the way up (which, by the way, they were not).  After gaining my composure, I opened my door to face Julie and Alex in the kitchen.
Julie: "What happened?"
Alex: "Sadie was pulling up her pants when I walked in.... I guess I should announce my entrance in the future?"
Me:"He didn't see anything!"(I hope.)
*Cue awkward silence*
Alex: "So..... Sadie you excited for you mission call....?"
Thanks, Alex, for quickly and awkwardly changing the subject from how you (kind of?) walked in on me....
Cassidy once proposed set times in which Alex can visit, and I now think I agree... at least there's only a week left.

--Sadie

Love at Home (teaching)

This Sunday it was my turn to teach Relief Society, the third hour of our church, where only the women attend.  My lesson was based on upholding BYU's Honor Code even while not attending BYU.  A huge section of the Honor Code includes the Law of Chastity, so naturally I felt obligated to make Relief Society as awkward as possible and talk about making love, or really, the lack thereof.  But luckily, the lesson went well.
After Church, Lizzy's home teacher came over, and was asking her about General Conference (which was last weekend).  He asked her if she thought there was a theme from this Conference.  Lizzy says, "Well, Sadie pointed out in Relief Society today that Conference was all about chastity."  Of course Home Teacher gives me an odd look.  I just started giggling, and tried to explain myself a little bit. "That was Saturday's theme.... Sunday was obedience...um... I taught Relief Society... about chastity... okay...cool."  Lizzy and Annalee speak up, "Sadie did a fabulous job teaching about the Law of Chastity today, actually.  She didn't make it super awkward."  Home Teacher: "Oh really?"  Lizzy: "Yeah, she told CRAZY personal stories about the Law of Chastity." Immediately I start laughing.  Home Teacher's head whips in my direction, shooting me the weirdest look of all, which was sort of a mix between a Kristen Wiig and a Ron Weasley, except with a little more skepticism and laughter.

In my hysterical laughing, I mindlessly told him, "it's really a story you don't want to hear..." followed by a "Let's just leave it at that..."  Realizing what I'd just done, I ran out of the kitchen and hid in my room for the remainder of Home Teacher's visit.  

In my defense, the story I told in Relief Society actually had to do with my VL status... so it's a little opposite end of the spectrum...

--Sadie

Daily Dialogue

"It was like, the perfect moment.  We had just talked a little about marriage, and I like just started singing "I'll make love to you, like you want me to." Well, not really.  But I told her basically that I'll do it in the most sensual, sacred, beautiful way.  That's appropriate of course...."
           Thank you sir, for talking openly about the love life you will have after
           marriage.  On the bright side, at least you are planning on waiting till after marriage.

"Dude, I shaved my legs last night, and it feels so nice! Except they're like already prickly, and it's only been like 14 hours."
"Man, girls have to go through that like all the time."
"I don't know how they can handle it.  But seriously, it feels so good in jeans."
         
I think it's safe to say that I worry for the sanity of these people.  Although, if any one of the people above heard half the conversations that go on in our apartment, they would be seriously concerned.... (if you don't understand what I mean, please click on the quotes tab above.)

--Sadie


P.S. BYU was ranked #1 for smartest and hottest in the country.  I think 2210 had a big influence on that stat.  Booya.

The Small Elephant in The Room

My Spanish conversation lab usually consists of no more than five people for an hour. It’s always a bit awkward as 30% of the time we don’t catch what our teacher is saying or asking us, and we all speak haltingly, nervously, and quietly. When a new person comes to the lab, it’s very apparent and slightly exciting. 

So today I waltz into the classroom, and do a double take.

There was a new boy.

With glasses, and tousled blonde hair. 

In my SPANISH conversation lab. 

You got to understand. As an English major, I’ve discovered this rather unfortunate, but not unexpected, phenomenon in my classes: NO MALES. And if there are males, they are married, or a little too hipster, or old.

A little too Hipster

Because of this, whenever an attractive man happens to be in one of my classes, Aragon’s speech in LOTR Return of the King echoes back to me: “Hold your ground…a day may come when there are no boys at all in your class or when they are all married but it is not this day! Today we fight!”

I boldly took a seat near him, and got partnered up with him for all the speaking activities. Things were going successfully until we flowed into a normal conversation about high school. Cleverly, I asked “Cuando saliste de escuela secondario?” (when did you graduate) as a casual attempt to gage his age. 

“2008, y tu?” 

Sheepishly, feeling very much like a little freshman, I replied “el ano pasado” which surprised him.

“2012?” He asked, I nodded, and then he continued, “So tienes diecinueve anos?” (You are 19?)

Regretfully, I corrected him, “Dieciocho,” then speaking faster, “pero mi cumplianos es en Mayo!” (18, but my birthday is in may!) He nodded, then proceeded to simultaneously smile and kill the excitement and hope fluttering around in my chest, “That’s quite a grande age gap between us,”  

After that, things just got worse. 

At one point, we were supposed to create a story, or tell each other stories using these strange phrases of sentences on the board. I had no idea what was going on, as my teacher talked very quickly, but needed to talk, and so I desperately picked a line and went with it. 

“Hay un hombre extrano a mi puerta……y el dame un elefante pequena,” (There was a strange man at my door, and he gave me a small elephant). 

The guy frowned in puzzlement, and asked “un elefante?” and in reply, I muttered “Si, pequena”. 

Then we sat there, silent. 

What was supposed to be a conversation opener, successfully transformed into a conversation ender, all in the form of a small elephant.

                                                         Moral(s) of the Story  

         

Sleep deprivation + a foreign language x the presence of an attractive male= Word Vomit.

Being Age Zoned sucks the fun out of everything. 

-ANNALEE

Glass is see-through, right?

So every day at work I wash fingerprints off of the glass doors of the Benson Building. It's surprisingly satisfying because the fingerprints are so visible and it's easy to tell when it's been cleaned. I usually try to clean the doors at 10:05, so that I miss the class break and am not trying to clean while other people are trying to use the doors. However, if someone does need to come in while I'm cleaning, the great thing about the Benson Building is that all the doors are double doors, so people can always go through the door I'm not cleaning....

Or so you would think. Yesterday at work though, I was washing fingerprints off the doors, and I saw a guy coming towards me from outside. He made eye contact with me, so I knew he had seen me. This was a regular occurrence, and is usually followed by the person changing their course and walking through the other door. This guy started to follow the usual pattern and veered towards the other door, and then surprised me by opening the door while I was cleaning it. He walked through, did this weird giggle thing, and walked away. No apology or anything. It was weird. The end. 

-Jessica